9 Tips for Parents/Caregivers for the Holidays
The holiday season can be an exciting time of year but it can also be overwhelming and stressful—especially for parents. From managing busy schedules and juggling family dynamics to navigating the pressure of creating the “perfect” holiday experience, the season can heighten stress and take on an emotional toll. As a psychologist, I want to offer practical strategies for parents to not only survive but also thrive through this time of year.
1. Set Realistic Expectations
One of the biggest sources of stress during the holidays is the pressure to create a flawless experience for your children and family. Whether it’s the perfect gift, pristine home, a social media worthy family picture, or a flawless family gathering, these expectations can quickly become overwhelming. It’s important to remember that perfection is an illusion. Children care less about the details and more about your presence and connection. Reflect on your own childhood. What do you remember most? Family traditions and time spent together or the decorations and gifts? My guess is that the time spent together is the most memorable.
Tip: Prioritize meaningful moments. Let go of the idea of “perfect” and embrace the joy in imperfections. Spend time with your family, create new traditions, and be present.
2. Practice Self-Care (and Model It for Your Kids)
It’s easy to get caught up in the needs of others and neglect your own. However, taking care of yourself during the holiday season (and outside of this season) is important. Caring for your physical and emotional well-being not only helps you feel better, but it also teaches your children valuable lessons about balance, boundaries, and the importance of self-respect. By recharging your own battery you can be more present and connected when you are making those memories with your family.
Tip: Make time for activities that recharge you, whether it’s a quiet walk, reading a book, or simply having a cup of coffee alone. Encourage your kids to practice their own self-care too, teaching them the importance of rest and relaxation.
3. Set Healthy Boundaries
The holidays often come with a flood of social events, family gatherings, and the pressure to say “yes” to every invitation. Overcommitting is a recipe for feeling overwhelmed and burnout, so it’s important to set boundaries that protect your time and mental health.
Tip: Pay attention to your limits. If a social event or family obligation feels overwhelming, it’s okay to decline or set a time limit. You can still be present without overextending yourself. Teach your children the importance of saying “no” when it’s necessary, and model how to do it with kindness and respect.
4. Be Mindful of Your Own Stress
Your children pay attention to your emotions, and they may pick up on your stress even if you’re trying to hide it. The more stressed you feel, the more likely it is that your kids will pick up on that energy, which can lead to their own anxiety,
Tip: Try to stay aware of how you’re feeling. Practice relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, or grounding exercises, to stay calm. When you feel yourself becoming stressed, take a pause and refocus your energy. Model for your kids how to handle difficult emotions.
5. Be Present, Not Perfect
The holidays are about connection. Whether you’re gathering around the dinner table, participating in a family activity, or simply enjoying a quiet moment, these experiences are what create lasting memories. Often, parents get caught up in trying to control every detail or making the time perfect which can take away from the joy of the moment.
Tip: Focus on being present. Engage with your children in meaningful ways, whether it’s playing a game, sharing stories, or simply spending quality time together. Let go of perfection and allow moments of spontaneity and fun to unfold naturally.
6. Recognize the Impact of Grief
For some families, the holidays can bring up feelings of grief and loss, especially if it’s the first year without a loved one. The holidays can be a reminder of who is no longer with us. This can be challenging for both parents and children.
Tip: Don’t try to ignore your feelings or pretend that they don’t exist. It’s okay to feel sad, and it’s important to talk openly with your children about emotions. How you show and talk about your feelings can be a model to your children for effective coping. Depending on their age, they may need reassurance and guidance on how to process their own feelings. Creating new rituals or honoring the memory of loved ones can help process feelings and also bring comfort.
7. Incorporate Family Time with Balance
While family gatherings are an important part of the holidays, they can also create stress. Balancing family time with quiet, downtime, and self care is key to preventing exhaustion and holiday burnout.
Tip: Plan intentional breaks in your schedule where your family can recharge. Whether it’s a quiet evening at home or a walk in the park, having moments of rest will help everyone feel more balanced and better able to enjoy social events.
8. Shift the Focus to Gratitude
Holidays can often feel like a race to “get through” to the new year, but one of the best ways to cope with the season’s stress is to shift the focus to gratitude. Taking time to reflect on the positive aspects of your life—no matter how small—can improve your overall mindset and help you model a positive outlook for your children.
Tip: Start a family gratitude tradition, such as sharing one thing you’re grateful for at dinner each night. This practice can foster a sense of appreciation and create a sense of togetherness.
9. Know It’s Okay to Ask for Help
Many parents feel they have to do everything on their own, but reaching out for support is important for your well being. Whether it’s asking for help with shopping, childcare, or having someone to talk to, support is essential.
Tip: Reach out to your partner, family members, or friends for help. Delegate tasks where possible, and be open about how you’re feeling. The more you open up and share the load, the easier it becomes to navigate holiday stress.
While the holiday season can certainly be stressful, it can also be a time of connection, joy, and meaningful experiences. By managing expectations, prioritizing self-care, and maintaining healthy boundaries, you can help ensure that the holidays are a time of balance and joy for your family. Remember, there’s no need to be perfect—just present. And that’s what your children will remember most.